THE MANATEE AND THE CONTRACTED HOME IMPROVEMENT SPECIALIST

The moon had ducked behind a cloud,
hidden quite clear away:
He did not care, so hidden there,
so there he thought he'd stay -
But, that was fine. Who ever saw
the moonshine in the day?

     The sun shone quite salubrious,
     for sure she knew the moon
     would sit and pout and not come out
     'til seven hours past noon -
     "Go have your nap you silly sap,
     and don't come out too soon!"

The windblown clouds were blown indeed,
the gale was stiff as stiff.
The fish that tanned upon the sand,
were not well worth a sniff:
No lemmings came to stand their ground --
they'd marched right off the cliff.

     The Manatee and the Contracted Home Improvement Specialist
     were standing near to blows;
     "My God" they cried through squinted eyes,
     holding fingers to their nose:
     "These fish smell rank, oh, how they stank;
     for sure, get rid of those!"

"Should Mr. Clean and brothers five
come swab the briny sea,
I think that they" the Manatee howled,
can make it smell heavenly!"
"Unlikely" droned the Contracted Home Improvement Specialist,
and spilled his Long Island Tea.

     "Hey Sea Gulls, fly to Timbuktu!"
     came the Manatee's command,
     "Quit dropping dropping on our heads;
     and across the heated sand:
     Then the Manatee and the Contracted Home Improvement Specialist
     cleaned out the Fresh Clam stand.

One surly seagull circled 'round
and made a nasty noise,
And soon the others flew in kind
to soil upon our boys.
They could not run; they could not hide,
they were targeted decoys.

     But, a couple fish (still quite alive)
     and basking in the sun:
     would flip around for an even tan
     and not a bit well done --
     And this was weird, because they heard
     that fish baked in the sun.

A group of gulls had noticed that
these gar were quite alive;
Three swooped down, then came two more
together there were five --
But they were shocked and so alarmed
by Cajun Black Fish talking jive.

     The Manatee and the Contracted Home Improvement Specialist
     had trekked for half a mile
     and came up to an alcove
     when the Manatee sat and smiled.
     He asked the Contracted Home Improvement Specialist
     if they could sit and rest a while.

"This is the place" the Manatee barked,
"Where I've done many things, you see:
I learned to bark, I learned to swim;
lost my virginity --
The Girlatees think I'm smoking hot --
and had their way with me".

     "Hold on a sec" the seagulls laughed,
     "before we loose our lunch.
     We've seen you hide and spank your whale,
     at least that was our hunch"
     And the Manatee became so irate
     he gave the Contracted Home Improvement Specialist a punch.

The Master Builder took the bait
"I'm sure they did not see
the private parts of you, my friend,
(you lying Manatee!)
And then he went behind the rocks
'cause he really had to pee!"

     They rambled further up the shore,
     the Manatee and him,
     when all at once the Contracted Home Improvement Specialist
     decided to have a swim.
     But, the Manatee knew their time was short,
     the sun was getting dim.

"You make me cry" said the Manatee,
"the light won't last much longer.
We should walk on before it's gone
and fall prey to the fish monger.
I can not fight far into night,
the dark makes me less stronger".

     So, the Contracted Home Improvement Specialist
     strapped on his trusty tools,
     and built a shelter for his friend,
     that masturbating fool.
     He called it "Wonderland and Sea",
     and that was really cool!